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What does it take to adopt a child?

Love, that's the number one ingredient. Willingness to take on the responsibility is second. Adoption creates a family, whether you already have one child or more, adopting brings a child hungering for a family into your home to become YOUR CHILD.

Did you know that there are 500,000 children in the foster care system in this country looking for a family to love them? Perhaps you have been considering this option and are thinking of looking into adoption to add to or start your family. We have put together some information and timely tips to help you look into The Adoption Option.

There are many things to consider before adoption:

Many experts warn that just a "warm fuzzy feeling" knowing that you are doing something special isn't going to help you in the day-to-day love and care of an adoptive child. Good intentions are one thing, but knowledge is the key.

When adopting a child from the foster care system it is well to note that many of them have come from abusive homes. Some have been physically or emotionally abused, some completely neglected. They are dealing with many issues in their young lives; separation, even from abusive parents, can be traumatic. Some will have learning disabilities and may have been impacted by parental drug abuse.

These are all issues that must be dealt with. Hopefully, this information won't scare you away, because, in spite of these problems, these children are in need of a family to love and care for them.

Adoption brings with it a moral responsibility, a responsibility to bring up children in a loving Christian home, to give ourselves entirely to the love and care of these precious ones God has entrusted to us.

Interested in adoption, but really want a baby?

A primary reason couples consider adoption is because they are, for one reason or another, unable to conceive a child of their own. Yes, there are babies available, but the numbers of toddlers and older children waiting to become part of a loving home are much larger. The foster care system alone is one example of the numbers of older children who are waiting.

According to Karen Elseroad of Bethany Christian Services, there are many children available for adoption, including babies. Unplanned pregnancies and situations in which a single parent is simply financially unable to care for a child cause the numbers of available children to grow.

The answer is, "yes," there are babies available, both privately and through adoption agencies. Before you settle on an infant, though, you may want to consider opening your heart and home to an older child. Many adoptive parents don't think beyond "baby." The older child - 2, 3, 5 or more years of age - is in need of a loving home as much as an infant. Consider all options prayerfully.

Bringing an adopted child into your home is, in many ways, the ultimate act of love. You have opened your door and your heart to a child longing for a family. Your act tells that child, "We love you and want you to become our child, a part of our family." You are adopting a child into your life in much the same way we are all adopted into the family of God: with all our faults and frailties, our shortcomings and our problems. God accepts us just as we are. You must be prepared to accept your child in the same manner. Yes, there will be adjustments, and, in some cases, emotional issues to deal with. Since so many children have come out of difficult situations, there may be emotional scars that must be dealt with. The healing process can take time, but with love, care and a lot of patience, almost any situation can be resolved.

Trust is a major issue in the adoption process. This is trust on both sides. A child awaiting adoption may have fears that he or she won't live up to your expectations. They may have a fear of rejection because of past experiences, and there may be a fear of abandoment once again. It can take an extended period of time for trust to develop.

Remember, you are assuming the role of parent, and in that role you must take a firm but loving stand. You must express how much you love this child, but never let the prior circumstances cloud your judgment. If there is a need for discipline, it has to be handled in a loving and kind manner, not with an iron hand. Many of these kids have had enough "iron-handed" discipline. This isn't meant to scare off perspective adoptive parents, it is simply a little information to help you on your way to making the proper decision.

Your local church, or a church in your community, may have classes for adoptive parents. These classes will arm you with the knowledge you need to make your decision. In many states, there are Christian adoption services that also offer classes and counseling for parents considering adoption. They will give you frank and honest information as to what you can expect with your adoption, whether you opt for a baby or an older child. There is no "magic wand" to wave to make everything go smoothly, but any parent can tell you that they face the same problems and situations that you will face with your adopted child. Your community may have support groups for adoptive parents. There are many resources available to you if you seek them out. We pray that the Lord will lead you in your search and guide you to His perfect will for your life and your family.

If you're ready to open your heart and home to a child in need of loving parents, here are some of the benefits you can expect:

In the eyes of a child, a parent is everything from doctor, to schoolteacher, to super hero! In the eyes of an adoptive child, you're all those things and more! You are someone who took a chance and brought a deserving child into your home and made him or her one of your own.

 

An Adoption Primer

Although each type of adoption has unique set of variables, everyone who adopts must complete a home study. During a typical home study, a licensed social worker from an agency (some states allow private social workers) conducts a series of interviews with the couple and visits the family's home at least once.

The couple supplies reference letters, a financial statement, criminal history, and an auto- biography about themselves, their marriage, their children, and their parenting style.

They describe the type of child they want to adopt, and they explain how they plan to preserve their adopted child's cultural heritage.  In international adoption, the approved home study is forwarded to the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS).

The INS requires certified, notarized copies of the parents' birth certificates, marriage certificate, and divorce decree (if applicable). The parents also complete an application for their child's immigration. The INS-approved documents and home study are added to a third set of documents, called a dossier. Its purpose is to prove that the family is financially, emotionally, and medically healthy, and that they have a permanent residence. The dossier is sent to the consulate in the country from which the family is adopting. It grants power of attorney for a representative in another country to act on behalf of the adopting family. Once a visa in the child's name is issued, the child may enter the United States.

If you're considering adoption, we have listed some agencies that may be able to help you. Terry Meeuwsen does not endorse or recommend any specific agency or service, but wishes to provide you with some resources to consider the adoption process and have the chance to bring love into the life of a child. You should independently evaluate any adoption agency or service and obtain references to satisfy yourself.